Back to work

After 33 hours of grueling travel which included a 5-hour flight delay in Warsaw, a 10-hour flight to Chicago, a 4-hour stay at a Red Roof Inn in Chicago, and finally a 4-hour flight to LAX, I made it back to Irvine.

The depressing reality of what a lifeless city I live in typically wears off after a few days of returning from a trip like this but I'm finding myself especially unwilling to let that happen this time around. I seem to be fighting it off more intensely than I have in the past out of some fear of returning to my old comfortable routine. As fulfilling as my old routine can be (I get to make movies after all), something has changed in me that I can't quite articulate at this moment. Perhaps if I keep rambling.

I can say that running around a foreign country, meeting awesome people with amazing and inspiring stories, making new friends and attempting to capture it all with my video camera sure beats going to my office everyday and having to deal with finances and lame shit that has nothing to do with filmmaking...or being human for that matter.



This trip has certainly reignited my passion for filmmaking and that old childhood dream of changing the world - or borrowing from Freud, "to agitate the sleep of mankind" - that put me on this path to begin with. Now, what to do with this reignited passion? How do I not only prevent it from burning out again but how can I sustain it? My fear is that I won't have figured out the answer to these questions before I return to the office on Monday and that I'll get sucked back into the humdrum day-to-day routine and then before I know it, be buried so deep underneath it that any sort of meaning in my work is relegated to fleeting thoughts and day dreams I have throughout the week.